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Dear Amy,

 

I recently moved into a new apartment, and my upstairs neighbor seems to think we’re best friends. She’s constantly dropping by unannounced, borrowing things and sharing updates about her personal life I didn’t ask for. I like to keep to myself, but I don’t want to be rude. How do I get her to back off without making things awkward?

 

Sincerely, Trying for Tranquility

 

 

Dear Trying for Tranquility,

 

Ah, the friendly neighbor — a classic character. What’s a quiet night in without a knock at the door and a lengthy update on someone else’s dental work? To keep things friendly but distant, it’s time to bring out the mysterious hermit strategy. 

When she drops by, answer the door wearing a bathrobe, half a face mask and some questionable bedhead. Murmur cryptic things like, “The stars warned me you’d come tonight.” She’ll think twice before popping in again.

If that doesn’t work, consider speaking in riddles whenever she borrows things. When she asks for a cup of sugar, say, “As the wise old owl knows, sugar shared brings sweets and sorrows. Return it before the moon rises or risk the curse.” She’ll either stop asking or, better yet, bring you back your stuff on time for fear of mystical consequences.

If she’s still showing up unannounced, go full undercover. Start answering the door with your phone pressed to your ear, sighing, “I just can’t get away from the research right now, General. Sorry, this is classified.” 

Then, make brief eye contact, drag her inside, and look around nervously. Whisper, “Did anyone see you come in here?” Close the blinds slowly, keeping your voice low. After an experience like that, she might think twice before stopping by uninvited.

If she keeps coming back after all that, try setting some gentle boundaries with your neighbor. You could say, “I really value my quiet time at home, so I’m usually not up for company.” 

Thank her for her friendliness but let her know you enjoy your space. She might feel a little awkward at first, but if she respects your boundaries, you’ll both be better neighbors for it. Remember, as uncomfortable as these things can be, your home should be your peace and you shouldn’t have to dread a knock on the door. 

 

Best of bad advice,

Amy