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Clint’s crows’ feet just aren’t the same on me

After watching the ultimate western movie, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,” for the umpteenth time, I have come to the same conclusion again and again that Clint Eastwood’s crow’s feet are the sexiest crow’s feet on any one human being alive.

It’s so not fair.

While I’m scouring the Home Shopping Network for the latest eye and brow lift creams and considering selling Samson, my 21-pound tomcat, for a nice, hefty sum on eBay so I can pay for it all, men like Clint Eastwood get more attractive by the hour, and women in his age bracket, well, let’s just say, don’t.

The question remains why men become “distinguished” with age and women just age. Any red-blooded American woman knows that the original James Bond, Sean Connery, will be handsome until the day he dies. However, I have to turn the tables and point to Goldie Hawn and Jane Seymour, two of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. And they weren’t born yesterday.

Then I have to stop and ask the obvious question – why am I comparing myself to people in Hollywood? To people I don’t even know?

No wonder our girls these days think they’re overweight at the age of 10. If I, a woman with two college degrees and hopefully a fair amount of intelligence, can fall prey to the wrinkle cream commercials and the “diet of the week” articles, it’s no wonder our young people are under a huge amount of pressure by what they see on TV and in magazines to look a certain way in order to feel accepted by society or to be popular.

Or to have self-esteem and self-assurance.

And that’s too bad. It’s just not true.

I came across these words written by Audrey Hepburn, and I think there is so much truth in them:

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.”

With that, I’ll go forth each day proudly displaying my own crow’s feet and laugh lines and strands of silver that seem to be appearing out of nowhere on my head, and dare anyone to say anything.

Go ahead. Make my day.